Interviewer

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The songs on the radio all tell us that
our lives are irreplacable and that is a fact
but, even if somebody were to go and take my place
I’m sure I’d disappear without a trace

Progressing through the days that will never improve
We’re just being borrowed and looking for a seat before we move
on to try and become something we never will
My heart slowly comes to a standstill

I pull and pick at a scab on my wrist
It bleeds again, I guess I know that I exist
A second word bleeds out and I know I’m not strong
All I want is to listen to a sad song

What is the kind of music you listen to and like?
What is the kind of food that you eat and that you like?
Who is the person that you think of the most and like?
Oh, no, that doesn’t mean that I am expecting it to be me

I cover up my ears and I sit and I cry
People will never understand each other even if they try
The truth is that I just want to feel love’s embrace
even if it is only on the face

Because I’ll never become anything of worth
I have to hold up my head up, fake it to the Earth
Pretending to have done anything with my life of use
and fake a smile despite the truth

I wonder what it is in my life that’s not there?
Guess what I have is what I’ve got, though it’s not fair
Woke up too early to this depressing morning
All I want to do is stay in bed sleeping

What is the kind of movie that you watch and you like?
What are the kind of words that you say and that you like?
Is there someone you’re thinking of right now that you like?
I haven’t got a doubt, it isn’t me that you’re thinking about

No, no, there’s no future for me
I don’t, I don’t, don’t expect there to be
No, no, there’s nobody for me
Around me or with me, no one

Smile, smile, all I want is to smile
I wish someone’d notice me for a while
I’ve given up on everything by now
The other side of the world begins to blur somehow

What is the kind of music you listen to and like?
What is the kind of food that you eat and that you like?
Who is the person that you think of the most and like?
Oh no, that doesn’t mean…

I gave up once, I gave up twice saying all of these things
I’d act so selfishly and just leave myself hurting
As I grew older and wiser, I came to realise, say..
It’s not..
It’s not too late for me yet, is it!?

(No, no, there’s no future for me
I don’t, I don’t, don’t expect there to be
No, no, there’s nobody for me
Smile, smile, all I want is to smile)

(No, no, there’s no future for me
I don’t, I don’t, don’t expect there to be
No, no, there’s nobody for me
Smile, smile, all I want is to smile)

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Sayoko

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The cupboards and the fridge, they remain empty
Nothing but a box of tablets and a box full of tea
So I take a pill and swallow, repeat once or twice
And, well, I guess that will suffice

There are marks all on my phone where my fingers have pressed
And my hair is full of grease, oh, I’m just such a mess
But I never once expected to feel pretty
Not even once, that’s just not me

I just wanna die, I just wanna die quietly
Accidentally these wounds are showing through my sleeves
So beautifully, without me even noticing
Now that I’m tired, I just wanna stay in bed now
When morning comes the sun won’t wake me up any more
There’s nothing I care for

To be honest, all my friends, well, they don’t seem to care
It’s like they’re always too busy to even compare
I don’t think that’s it’s even their concern to worry
About others; people like me

And yet, somehow, this smile remains on my face
Even though there’s nothing good for me, no, not a trace
And I never once expected that I’d feel proud
Not even once, not in this crowd

I just feel tired, I just feel tired all the time
I just wish that I could sleep ’til I become paralyzed
Yet still alive: wake up, eat, then go back to sleep
I’ll make believe that I’m still asleep for now
When I’m standing up on my bedroom windowsill
I can’t fly, I never will…

Can’t remember the true feeling of happiness
Can’t remember how the music would make me smile
Won’t someone please explain to me how
My life has turned it’s back now?

I just wanna die, I just wanna die quietly
Accidentally these wounds are showing through my sleeves
So beautifully, without me even noticing
Now that I’m tired, I just wanna stay in bed now
When morning comes the sun won’t wake me up any more
I care for nothing

Yet another day, yet another day goes by
Even if I cry there is no way it will change anything
I’ll just continue to fall
’cause nothing’s changing at all
These wounds are turning to scars
So I guess I’ll just fall apart…

Torinoko Mashup

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In a world where ones and zeroes make up our lives
communication is rife with misunderstanding
I want to know the answer to what is your name
but please make sure it’s within ten characters

It’s too easy to sit and cry so it’s something I can’t do
I’ve just got to push down those thoughts in my head ’til I make it through

And don’t you dare forget that inside of you 
that there’s a fake version of me, too

And to this day do you remember the vows that we made
when we swore to each other that we’d forever stay?
When we crossed our hearts that we’d never forget
Oh, please don’t let the curtain fall down on our stage just yet…

With all the plans I’m making clearly heading towards nowhere
I start thinking to myself but do I dare?
“Should I now find a reason for me to just give it all up?”
No, I know that it’s not the right choice
I’m talking to myself, just mumbling in a quiet voice
but I know that I can’t really stop so please don’t yell at me

Living through each day wondering “Why?”
Do it your way, that way, this way, gotta leave now, baby
The two sides of my heart can’t be broken apart:
my courage and my desire to escape
Will there be anything worth living for anywhere?
I ask myself the same question day in and day out
Answer myself, get an answer, give an answer, it never ends…

“Sorry that I called to late at night, you were more than likely ready for bed.”
“Actually, it’s weird that you called now, I was gonna call you too!”
As if fate intended us to be in each others hearts and each others heads
Listen to the sound of happiness that is coming from us two–

I couldn’t even begin to hope that that was true
’cause I am still to weak to be with you
Somehow we’ll make a contract and once again I will
fall into you but, still,
it’s never to become…

One more time, one more time,
“I will be a rolling girl for today, as well!” 
Or so she will say, so she will say
with a laugh, a smile and using word play
So, are you okay? It’s okay
Everybody gets sick and tired of it some day
So I guess we’ll just breathe in…

There’s nothing in this world that’s real and that I can see
All words and feelings suddenly mean nothing to me
I don’t want to fall into this dark pit a second time
It loops and never ends and then I get lost and I cry
“I don’t need you any more. You’re nothing but an eyesore,”
Even though you didn’t say it out loud, I can hear it
Do you even understand what it’s like to feel this?
I’ve just had enough!

from Y to Y

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You turned your back and walked away
There was nothing more for you to say
You left without even a single word
I trembled softly reaching out
And cried as if I were a child
“Oh, please don’t go, oh, please don’t leave, wait…”

I turned my back and walked away
For no longer could I stay
Before these tears begin to fall and fall
I’d lie about my happiness
Pretending that I’d had enough
You didn’t know I’d not let go
Of a future with you (with you)
And now that wish will never come true (come true)
Ah…

It seems so empty in this room, so spacious since you left so soon
This hollow part inside my heart, it feels a mile wide
It seems so long just sitting here, a minute feeling like a year
If only I could spend it with you…

Is this world so full of pain a world that won’t allow a hope without disdain?
Even a white lie, it shows within your eyes
I can see the tears that you’re clearly holding inside
I have made countless mistakes that pile up endlessly as my heart slowly breaks
I miss the times when I held your hand and we’d stay so perfectly gently
When you used to just hold me

As I figure out what is “present”
I forget what has passed and what “past” had meant
This memory, it’s so blurry it only goes so far
The only thing I had left behind
Is something soon you will never find
As slowly your memory of me disappears…

Ah, woah, can’t we go back to simply “hello”?
Is this here the ending I fear? Is it so near, my dear? Ooh…

Every night lay in my bed I fear the sun will never rise its tired head
I dream of it again the times we had and when
All my dreams were real and not stuck in my stupid head
I have made countless mistakes that pile up endlessly as my heart slowly breaks
I miss the times when I held your hand and we’d stay so perfectly, gently
When you used to just hold me, ohh

I’ll make it up to you by taking away all your pain
I’ll take it for my own if you’ll just

Remember me…

Wouldn’t it be nice to be with you
Just one more, forget what we’ve been through
And once again I’d hold your hand
But, until that time comes

I’ll see you.